I had a total crisis the night before our Blogger Flea Market. I mean not an actual crisis, but one of confidence and wardrobe. 100% a first world problem.

Basically I've gotten, well, fat. It's been a long time coming. When I moved to the US I weighed a measly 130lbs at a whopping 5ft10. Decidedly underweight. Six years later I decided to weigh myself. It's not like I've been in complete denial, obviously I know that I've gotten bigger – I've gone up several dress sizes (4/6 – 10/12) but discovering I weighed 192lbs. Well. The panic set it.

Suddenly nothing looked right and I was honestly disgusted with myself and sat down and cried. Now what happens when I cry, is a good purging, it gives me a chance to pull myself together, and once I decided that my clothes weren't making me look fat, but my fat making me look fat, I thought "sod it" and broke about every fashion rule in the book.

– Horizontal stripes √

– Tight Jersey √

– High Neckline √

– Flats with a pencil skirt √

And whilst all these things are certainly not recommended for someone of my girth – my newly found "sod it" status won over – and I felt good, and that was about all that mattered.

Now it would be remiss of me not to mention – it's wonderful to be happy and confident with your size, I'm all for it. But at 192lbs at 5ft 10 – that does make me clinically overweight – and I don't want to be overweight – I don't want to be underweight again either. But I am determined to lose these pounds – swimming, the gym and vegetables are all happening and I'm already down to 188lbs (which of course could just be water weight) so here's to a healthy and hopefully slimmer 2012.

What I Wore: Skirt: Forever 21, Top: Topshop, Necklace: Forever 21, Chucks (with switched out laces) and Raybans.

Edited to include the "before" picture:

Me circa 2006.

Kelsi xx